Accepting and committing to falls and failure.

When it comes to dealing with fear and anxiety, as a climber (and an ordinary person), I tend to do the exact opposite to what I, as a counsellor, suggest others do when they are faced with something scary. That makes me quite the hypocrite, and I'm trying to weed that shit out of my system. Translating therapy concepts in context to the real world is where it gets really tough and really does take a lot of practice. In climbing, and a lot of outdoor sports, I have found that these psychological practices are a necessity. Attuning to your mind while speaking with your body during moments of speed, endurance and stamina is a real phenomena that I want to talk about. Our minds and bodies do not exist in silos, they are not lonely islands but a vast network of channels and feedback loops. This sounds logical to many, however, I do believe we often underestimate the full extent of influence that our thoughts and feelings have on our behaviour with our bodies. This is where I can draw on a counselling model called the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). 

The core principle of ACT stems from the mantra to 'Accept what causes pain and what is out of your control, and commit to value-driven actions'. Again, easier said than done, but at the very least, trying won't make it worse. When I first set out to climb outdoors, or learned to surf or skateboard. Cognitively, what was happening was - 'I'm not good enough', 'I am too scared', 'What if something happens and I hurt myself', 'Is that weird bug near my face going to fly into my mouth?' Thoughts there to protect me from danger, an instinctual flight/flight response, yet negatively geared enough to send me spiralling into catastrophising/ self-deprecating talk. 

The fear of falling is crippling, by the very nature of how these thoughts dominate you thereafter. After having fallen, the thoughts then turn into 'well that was embarrassing', 'why am I so short', 'I blame the wave/ the hold/ the board', 'this sucks and I suck'. 

To me, this psychological processing is just as dangerous as a physical wipe out from a wave or whipper off the wall. ACT addressing this very human nature and talks about the ability to build Psychological Flexibility. There are 6 core pillars- Be here now, know what matters, do what it takes, observe yourself, watch your thinking, and open up (Harris, 2009). 

​Stay in the present: Don't be thinking about how you fell before or if people are watching.
 
Values: What's important in this instance? Not in the future, not in the past, right now.

Committed Actions: What is my next step now? Not the step I just made, not the four steps ahead at the end.

Self-as-context: How does my body feel right now? Is my mind aware of the way I am moving? Is my mind on the right track? Watch myself from above. 

Defusion: What am I thinking? Can I slow this down for myself? Am I focusing on what I know or what I don't know? Am I stuck with any particular thought?
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Acceptance: Yes, this is a high wall. Yes, my forearms are burning. Yes, I am probably going to take a safe fall and yes, the holds are sharp, it's fucking rock! Yes, this wave is going to annihilate me and yes, it is probably going to hurt, so brace yourself. 

I can't stress how many times I have had to repeat these things to myself on a climb. I still fail at it. Sometimes I think I understand it and it slips. What's even more of a doozey is knowing how to use ACT skills in other areas of my life- Careers, relationships, health, loss, grief, disappointment, shame. These are slippery concepts when faced with the really difficult stories we tell ourselves. The learning is in the ability to find incremental moments to practice these approaches safely. Building Psychological Flexibility takes small actions that build like little lego pieces. It is the case for every cognitive and behavioural skill. Baby steps to the bigger picture. 
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Accept what causes pain and what is out of your control, and commit to value-driven actions.